Saturday, December 31, 2005

2005- A Reminiscence...

I figured that since the year draws to a close in less than an hour, this would be apt- to reflect on what's happened these past twelve months. Also because I'm not in favour of spending this hour in a crowded place counting down to usher in the new year, craning my neck to see past the tall people to see what's going on on some stage somewhere in town and feeling all stuffy. I just want a nice quiet evening tonight. So, be warned:it might be a long post so you might want to take a few pauses now and then if you need to. Okay, so here goes...

I remember thinking in very early in the year about how I was gonna fit into a completely different environment as it wasn't gonna be good 'ol high school no more- a place where I felt so comfortable in my own skin, being around the people I care about and doing the things I loved, with much freedom; without having to worry too much about life other than my grades-which I eventually stopped worring about =). But then, as time took its toll, I realized that college is not going to be that easy and that making friends somehow just didn't come as naturally as it used to. I'd made a few frinds sure, but they weren't like the ones I had back in high school and I suddenly found myself yearning to go back- silly of me, I know. However, time also made me realize that life in general is never that simple and if I'd just give time a chance, everything will eventually come together and turn out for the best. So, with help I managed to come thus far and get through my freshmen year of college.

Spiritually on the other hand, I can now honestly say (after taking a stroll along the 'other side') that there is no greater pleasure than being able to serve God with what you have. I finally understand what the Donut Man said when he once sang "life without Jesus is like a Donut, 'cos there's a hole in the middle of your heart!" Perhaps it's because I was brought up in this way of life, what with my parents serving in church for as long as I can remember- untill about two years ago (another story all together). And, so after a few months of just going to church on a once-a-week basis, I decided that there's no greater joy than being able to serve God with everything He has blessed me with! It's a joy that I can't explain with words but if you're anything like me, you'll understand the feeling. I'd like to thank those who helped me get back this joy- you know who you are.

Truly, this year has been like previous ones, pleasantly acceptable with spanking great times along with its horrific counterpart of depressing hardships. But know what? Some of these hardships helped me understand that God is ever loving and I marvel at the fact that His faithfulness endures forever indeed no matter the situation. There were times where I felt like giving up because I thought God was not around anymore but "lo and behold", He was and always has been around; I just never looked for Him! For that I'm grateful to my Lord and Savior! Everyday I get to wake up is another day I get to thank Him!

Now, right this very moment, as I usher in the new year (in my personal way) that's coming my way in about 10 minutes, I'm hopeful for a better year. Though I've totally given up making resolutions simply because I never learn to keep them, I do want to become a little less agnostic about life and recognize the "brighter side of life" (please excuse the cliche). That, and I want to savor every possible moment, enjoying the life and times of my blissful 19th year here in the world!

So, here's to embracing life and everything that comes along with it- the good and bad. Have a Happy New Year everyone! Cheers!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

My Grown-up Christmas List

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

by: Amy Grant
(c) 1992 Air Bear Music / Linda's Boys Music / Warner
-Tamerlane Pub. Corp. (BMI).

Thursday, December 22, 2005

...of Smiles and Skirts

I finally got to start on some of the things I've been putting off on my do-to list: the ones concerning the Yultide Season. I started and completed my first Christmas card, though I didn't think it looked christmas-sy...oh well, I'm sure I'll get it right the second time =). Then I did a little shopping and I've been walking around with a huge smile plastered on my face ever since. Why? Because I FINALLY managed to get skirts that I could FIT INTO! Last Christmas I got so depressed thinking I would never ever be able to fit into skirts becoz I couldn't, for the life of me, find a SINGLE ONE! I was never really a skirt person till last year but unfortunately, I couldn't get any....until this year, that is so yay! I'm happy =) Look out world, Navee's getting her skirts on! Oh and the conversation between Daddy and me on the way to the mall went something like this:
Dad: So, how much did you spend on shopping last year?
Me: Oh, about 500 bucks. but ONLY because I needed new clothes for college...*sheepish grin*
Dad: *shakes his head* So, what you planning to but this year?
Me: Oh I was just thinking of getting a skirt and maybe some t-shirts.
Dad: Skirts? I haven't seen you in one of those in a really long time.
Me: Yeah, neither have I!
*Then everyone else in the car started laughing*

And that, just prooves how much of a skirt person I'm not. Now, I'm off to make a fresh batch of chocolate brownies for tomorrow's dinner at a friend's. Hope it turns out ok. *crosses fingers and toes*

Monday, December 19, 2005

My Monday

I was at the police station today- not because I was arrested or anything like that, mind you. I am, contrary to popular belief, a law abiding citizen. No, actually I was there because I was in a freak accident- some nutcase lorry driver decided to rub taillights with my little car. And so, we (my family and I) had to go to the nearest police station (which actually happened in another state- about four hours' drive away from here- because the accident occured there) to logde a report. Man, I NEVER want to go to a police station again. EVER! It's a little too personal to say it out in print, so ask me if you really must know. But I will tell you that it was very frustrating and the damage was bad like I said, I NEVER want to have to go there again. On a related note, I thought loosing my car keys was bad (which by the way, I am ready to laugh about, Serena), but this really was something else!

So, then while "cruising" along the highway a thought struck me. This was actually the second accident I was involved in and ironically both times, the four of us were seated in exactly the same way in the car-Dad was the driver, I sat next to him, Mom was behind me and my sister was seated behind Daddy. Hmmmm...

Anyway, on another happier note, the play I last blogged about was simply amazing! In all honesty, I was debating with myself for the first time whether to pay more attention to the choir or the onstage performers! Well, yeah there was like one or two minor glitches at the begining but the show was in no way less entertaining and impactful. My only regret is that I didn't attend YC sooner so I could be able to part-take such an event and sadly for me, I doubt that theere's gonna be a "next time".
Sigh...
Good job guys...I can't describe the feeling I had upon leaving the show =)
If you get the chance, go watch it! Ti's so good you won't regret going! For more information about the play click
  • here
  • or
  • here
  • Sunday, December 18, 2005

    Thanks, God

    Dear Jesus,
    Thank you for making the play a big success. I was in a sense as nervous as the people performing it though I only went to watch! So, thanks, that there were no major glitches throughout the whole musical. I'm glad that people were receptive towards it =). Please Lord, let the remaining shows be this great, if not better and please energize the cast and crew so they would perform with all they have...albeit the stress and the lack of sleep. For we both know how hard they worked- all the blood, sweat and tears. So God, let this be the best play ever! Thanks again, Jesus.
    Amen.
    *Will blog more about this after the second show- when I get home from Johor Bharu.*

    Thursday, December 08, 2005

    This Time, It's Different


    Mom pointed out something yesterday but the reality of it sunk in only just now. She said that as of tomorrow (because I just finnished my last paper today), I'd have completed my freshman year in college! Time sure flies...and as I was driving home after that final paper for the semester (which was a totally horrible paper, by the way), I was thinking about all that has happened throughout my time in college as well as what a dear friend of mine wrote in my 18th Birthday card earlier this year. It read, "Do enjoy your teenage years and be willing to be stretched like never before". Looking back, I can honestly say that I have indeed been stretched like never before, more so in this semester and I know it's about to get only worse over the course of time, but I can also honestly say that it was a little fun to be stretched that way. I'm the kind of person that gets a thrill out of doing more than I can handle...I just love the intensity of rushing to meet deadlines and preparing presentations all in the same week...call me weird, I don't care. Yeah, looking back on my year in college, this year was really a year of change in more ways than one but albeit all the intensity, change, blood, sweat and tears I had a ball of a time in college and wouldn't trade it to be anywhere else- it sure as heck beats working!haha.

    As I embrace Christmas with wide open arms this year, somehow I know that it's going to be different this year. I just do. But I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I'm just really looking forward to this much deserved holiday after all the "stretching" I've been put through. Maybe it's because I'm looking forward to meeting-up with all my friends after such a long time becoz they're back for the season. Or maybe it's the christmas play that's going to be held in my church this year. Perhaps it's becoz of daddy's homecoming. Even while putting on the lights for my christmas tree was somehow...different; more joyful in a sense. Christmas is the only season that I most anticipate this year. On another note, it's Christmas is also that time of the year that I do my once-a-year extravagant shopping and my to-buy list (for me and a few other people) is already populated and has become longer (it started filling in two weeks ago!) but unfortunately, my wallet is not thick enough to purchase all that I want/need to. Oh well, maybe daddy will give me some extra cash =)

    Plus, though this is a holiday, I still have plenty of things to do and hence my to-do list has also elongated. But what's diferent about this list is that I'm gonna enjoy doing every single thing on that list becoz I want to do them, not becoz I have to. It's always a lot more fun to do things and run errands becoz you want to, rather than becoz ou have to....isn't it? What's more is that daddy's coming back and I sooo look forward to spending time with him after many months of him being abroad. But then again, there are "side effects" to this homecoming- curfews and ground rules. I'm being hopeful...that he'll cut me some slack becoz he hasn't seen me in so long and because I'm a year older than the last time we saw each other =)