Three Weeks and Counting (and scared as hell)
I know, I know...it's been more than a week since my last entry. rest assured, this blog is NOT dead/left in abandonment (hope I spelt that right). I am truly sorry but the only excuse I can offer is that I've been busy packing and that's the whole truth. Okay, so maybe not th WHOLE truth but partly the truth- the truth nonetheless!
Man, this whole packing thing is really getting the better of me; I just can't seem to 'get my head in the game'. I mean, on the one hand packing up confirms the fact that I'm finally going to that blessed city where its livestock outnumber the people (though I STILL haven't wrapped my head around that fact completely- the leaving I mean), all the more with every one of those white with red stripped boxes I pack away. On the other hand, as I've said before, packing is like putting away a number of years and closing those chapters of one's life and admiting that it's time to move on and accept change...which sometimes is a lot more easier said than done.
Change is more often a choice rather than a must- in my situation anyway. Packing up and leaving to settle down in a nother country all together is a choice that should be yours. In my case, it isn't all together mine. I'm not saying that I'd rather not make this move- believe me, no one in my family is as thrilled as I am about this big move. Yes, I've always imagined myself packing up and moving to another land (in this figment, I also imagine myself moving because I have a job that demands that of me ;p)...I guess I just didn't think that day would come this soon. I understand and am fully aware of why this has to happen but I don't feel ready to make the jump just yet. Maybe I'm getting cold feet; Perhaps it's just pre-relocating jitters (if there's such a thing).
Oh, I don't know...I have so many uncertainties and insecurities. I didn't think it'd be THIS hard. I feel so unsure and on some level am afraid of the not so distant future- so near that it's only three weeks away! I'm the kind of person that always know what to expect and I always anticipate what's gonna happen but this time, I've no control. None. Zilch. NOTHING! And I hate not being able to anticipate the possibilities of (my) life.
But I do know one thing: My Jesus is gonna help me get through this because He's always jumped through my hurdles and what-nots with me and I know He's gonna get me through this one. He HAS to! :)
So Lord, I am fully relying on You...and this time I mean it!
Man, this whole packing thing is really getting the better of me; I just can't seem to 'get my head in the game'. I mean, on the one hand packing up confirms the fact that I'm finally going to that blessed city where its livestock outnumber the people (though I STILL haven't wrapped my head around that fact completely- the leaving I mean), all the more with every one of those white with red stripped boxes I pack away. On the other hand, as I've said before, packing is like putting away a number of years and closing those chapters of one's life and admiting that it's time to move on and accept change...which sometimes is a lot more easier said than done.
Change is more often a choice rather than a must- in my situation anyway. Packing up and leaving to settle down in a nother country all together is a choice that should be yours. In my case, it isn't all together mine. I'm not saying that I'd rather not make this move- believe me, no one in my family is as thrilled as I am about this big move. Yes, I've always imagined myself packing up and moving to another land (in this figment, I also imagine myself moving because I have a job that demands that of me ;p)...I guess I just didn't think that day would come this soon. I understand and am fully aware of why this has to happen but I don't feel ready to make the jump just yet. Maybe I'm getting cold feet; Perhaps it's just pre-relocating jitters (if there's such a thing).
Oh, I don't know...I have so many uncertainties and insecurities. I didn't think it'd be THIS hard. I feel so unsure and on some level am afraid of the not so distant future- so near that it's only three weeks away! I'm the kind of person that always know what to expect and I always anticipate what's gonna happen but this time, I've no control. None. Zilch. NOTHING! And I hate not being able to anticipate the possibilities of (my) life.
But I do know one thing: My Jesus is gonna help me get through this because He's always jumped through my hurdles and what-nots with me and I know He's gonna get me through this one. He HAS to! :)
So Lord, I am fully relying on You...and this time I mean it!
Aiyoh! don;t remind me man.....my times coming soon too!! to go over to the States i mean..... :(
Scary and exciting at the same time eh??? ;)
Posted by
mythsn_legends |
11:52 PM
Yeah go there and marry a orang putih and contribute to the microscopic population of Pan-Asians :D I love Pan-Asians.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:43 PM
kuen: yeah it really is...i think it's the thought of having to start over is waht really scares me most. but oh well, i just received my tickets so i can't get all clod feet now =)
will: hahah! u know Will, that's not THE reason I'm emigrating...but should an orang putih come into the picture, who am I to stand in the way of 'lady luck' right? =)
Posted by
Naveena |
11:40 AM