Where Are You?
I start my third semester in college this Monday. 3 days ago, I actually couldn't wait to get back to college because I was so bored at home doing nothing much. MY results were released today and after scrolling through it online (fingers crossed and all), I suddenly don't feel like going back. Reason being...well, the obvious really: I didn't do too well and I'm right now in the why-me-Lord stage. I mean, this wasn't suppose to happen so early in the course. I knew I was gonna have a few rotten grades on my transcript but I was not prepared to see them in my second semester for god's sake! It's waaaaay too early to be getting bad grades. But then again, shit happens...right? I still think I didn't deserve it and the ONE paper I was counting on to up my grade point average, let me down. So all the more I'm bummed. the funny/frustrating thing is, I can't seem to figure out what went wrong!
If you've done your best and as the saying goes- left the rest to God, you're suppose to do well right? He's suppose to help you get through it right? So why can't I help but feel a wee bit guilty and why did He not help? I read blogs that testify His goodness and His enduring promisses but somehow, I feel as if I'm not getting any of it no more. Yes, there was a time where I could stand up and say of His blessings but it's been a while since I saw those blessings; and I'm not saying this just because I didn't do well in my finals. I just feel generally, He's not being...can I say fair (or is that being hypocritical?). Where are you, Lord? You said you'd always be there. So, where'd you go?
If you've done your best and as the saying goes- left the rest to God, you're suppose to do well right? He's suppose to help you get through it right? So why can't I help but feel a wee bit guilty and why did He not help? I read blogs that testify His goodness and His enduring promisses but somehow, I feel as if I'm not getting any of it no more. Yes, there was a time where I could stand up and say of His blessings but it's been a while since I saw those blessings; and I'm not saying this just because I didn't do well in my finals. I just feel generally, He's not being...can I say fair (or is that being hypocritical?). Where are you, Lord? You said you'd always be there. So, where'd you go?
